I’m gonna be honest… I wrote a really long (like REALLY long) article about sexual assault (I know that this is a place for books, but I feel like this is my corner and I can do what I want with it).
So, I had written this huge article, basically essay, about sexual assault and the media and the government and how it’s being shrugged off as something not important, and women are being told they’re “sluts,” “deserved it,” ‘are lying,” or “asked for it.” I found multiple examples of this, and was prepared to post it tonight. But today I read something in the news, which was upsetting in itself, but then I kept reading about it, and realized that people weren’t upset over what I was upset over and that was a huge problem.
Here’s the deal: I’m going to say what’s been on my mind, because I think that it’s an important topic. But if we’re gonna do this, I want everyone to be on the same page: I want you to know that I will never tell you that your opinion is wrong. I will never tell you that if you disagree with what I’m saying that you are incorrect, or are a bad person, or that we can’t be friends. Because I truly believe that we’re all intelligent people capable of having an intelligent conversation about the topic at hand. If you disagree with me, tell me! I’d love to hear your opinions and what you think of the subject. But there will be no fights, no name-calling, and no one telling anyone that their opinion is false. Agreed?
Let’s get started. I saw in the news, from multiple sources (but I’ll only use three), that at a high school in Maryland – approximately twenty miles from the White House itself – a fourteen year old girl was raped by two boys in a secluded boys bathroom.* Of the two boys accused, one is an undocumented immigrant. Now I’m upset because a young girl was raped. But that’s not really what everyone else is upset about – and that’s disturbing.
From what I’ve seen the reason that this case is getting media attention – unlike the other more than 300,000 cases per year – is because one of those kids was here illegally. Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary has stated,
“I think part of the reason the president has made illegal immigration and crackdown such a big deal is because of tragedies like this,” he said. “Immigration pays its toll on our people if it’s done — if it’s not done legally. And this is another example, and it’s why the president is so passionate about this.”*
I disagree. I think that the reason the president is so passionate about this is because it feeds into his idea that immigrants are bad and need to be removed. It feeds in to what he was saying about all Mexicans being rapists, and his followers eat it up. They love it.
They also love when people point the blame elsewhere – especially towards former president Barack Obama. According to Fox News reporter Doug McKelway,
“Local County and city officials denied that they are an informal sanctuary city [a city that knowingly houses and helps undocumented immigrants], saying that whenever an illegal alien is arrested in Montgomery County, and in prison, after the imprisoned time, ICE is notified or they are handed over to ICE. But they know that that occurs only after a crime occurs. They say it was federal immigration officials under the Obama administration who dropped the ball here.”*
What Mr. McKelway is saying is that ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) is only notified of an undocumented immigrant after that person has committed a crime, and that it was under Obama that this policy had failed to capture a future criminal. According to Fox, the immigrant in question was stopped and released in Texas (though they don’t say when this happened) and because “the Obama administration” let him go, this tragedy happened.
Unfortunately for the people who would like to blame Obama, ICE was formed in 2003 and retains the same policies that it began with… Fourteen years ago! If I’m not correct, wasn’t that when President George W. Bush was in office? How exactly could the Obama administration be to blame for the policies that were formed under Bush’s administration?
Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you that illegal immigration is good. I’m also not going to sit here and tell you that illegal immigration is bad. I think there are good parts and bad parts to both.
But if you really want to understand why illegal immigration is happening as much as it is right now then you need to look at the loss of family farms in South America, you need to look at agribusiness, you need to look at the way we’re treating the land, and the people we’re utilizing to produce the things we want in our abundant societies. If we were to pay people a living wage, I can assure you that those people would rather stay in their own countries, on their own land, with their own families. People don’t just want to come to America “cuz ‘Murica!” they come to America because of lack of opportunity, jobs, and security.
What I WILL tell you is this: immigration is not the big picture in this case. The big picture is simply the fact that these two boys brutally raped a fourteen year old girl and no one seems to care about her at all.
Let me just say this: Sexual assault gets almost no coverage in the media, and it’s no surprise why. It’s because when it does, the response is overwhelmingly negative. The consensus is usually that the girl or woman should stay silent and/or is making it up, was asking for what happened to her, or just straight out deserved it, and more often than not there are death threats or threats of physical harm to the person or the person’s family for speaking out. I can understand why someone would be hesitant to speak to the media, or even flat-out refuse to speak to the media about such a case, can’t you?
Also is it really so surprising that two kids would think that sexual assault is an okay thing to do in this day and age? I mean, I went to every assembly in school when I was growing up, but I had one assembly on sexual assault and it was OPTIONAL. And you know what? I was the only one in my grade to go to it. One optional assembly in high school with only a handful of people attending.
So what does that tell me? Well it says a few things:
- Schools are spending more money on seminars about the dangers of gambling (yes I had a seminar about the dangers of gambling) than they are about the far more dangerous issue of sexual assault and domestic violence.
- People don’t want to speak about it because it seems like too difficult of a subject.
- Young boys in particular are not being taught by other men that sexual assault is NOT okay (and you’ll hear me say this again, but sexual assault IS NOT OKAY).
What I see when I read the articles is that two boys, just a short drive away from President Trump, both agreed that an acceptable thing to do was to rape a young woman. Now what I said there is important, so I hope you didn’t miss it: they both agreed that it was acceptable to rape. Why is their agreeance important? Because it shows that two different people, of two different backgrounds, were taught and consistently shown that a woman’s life is less important than theirs, and that this kind of horrendous cruelty is something that they can get away with.
We live in an age where our current president has not only been accused of rape and sexual assault by women around the country, but also domestic abuse towards his ex-wife as well as publicly making degrading comments and displays towards his current wife, First Lady Melania, and his own daughter, Ivanka. Now I know that a lot of people are outraged by this, I can’t say that no one is trying to make this knowledge known because it’s very widely known.
But what I can say is this: It’s widely known!!!! If two high school boys are watching this President thinking he’s the epitome of success and power and what a “man” should be, then of course they’re going to think it’s okay to do.
It’s important for us to stop this. It’s important to talk with the people you know, ESPECIALLY the young people, to tell them that this behavior is deplorable and unacceptable. This is the epitome of cowardice, not power.
I’ll give you a little glimpse into my own life, just for a second: I’m a sexual assault survivor. Had I had even one MANDATORY sexual assault prevention assembly, perhaps I wouldn’t be. Had fathers told their sons that rape and sexual assault is NOT OKAY maybe I wouldn’t be. Had there been a positive role model for young boys who could sit down with them and teach them what is right and what is wrong, maybe I wouldn’t be.
I have an overwhelming sense of heartbreak for all the young girls and women out there who have to go through things like this. But I’m particularly sad for this girl whose entire case is becoming a media frenzy about immigration instead of about getting justice.
Also, real quick: only one of the boys was illegal. I’ll repeat: there were two boys accused, one of them is an undocumented immigrant and one of them is an American citizen. So how exactly can you sit there and tell me that if there were stricter practices in keeping immigrants out that this would not have happened? There’d still be another rapist at large! You can’t tell me that this would not have happened, because the other boy still would have been uneducated about sexual assault enough, and would have had enough exposure to the media that he would still view sexual assault as not a big deal.
I guess all I’m trying to say is this: this young girl’s tragic case should have been about getting justice. Not about immigration. And if we want to stop kids from raping and sexual assaulting and harassing people then we first need to take a step back, look at the big picture, and realize that it’s all about communication. If you have kids, or nephews, or cousins, or grandkids, or family friends… PLEASE just talk to them.
Try to listen to what they’ve been hearing in the media, and then politely correct them when they’ve been misinformed. Talk to them about sexual assault and explain to them that it’s never okay to do – IT’S NEVER OKAY TO DO. Teach them right and wrong, and teach them to treat all people with respect and patience. It’s up to us to teach now, we’re grown – we can make our own decisions, by the time we’re adults we’ve already learned our version of right and wrong. But kids can be molded – even if they’re 17 years old, they can be taught. And it’s important to teach them.
That’s all on this topic. Just treat people well, and teach them right and wrong. And always take a look at the bigger picture.
If you want to have a discussion, you can leave me a comment. If you enjoyed this post or agreed with what I’m saying, you can like the post and click the “follow” button!
I’ll be back to regular programming as soon as possible (although let me tell you, I don’t know if I can finish Heartless. It’s been a real struggle – I truly hate the protagonist. I’m having a real Hector and the Search for Happiness flashback over here).
Until next time,
- Evan Simko-Bednarski and Lauren Del Valle. Student in Maryland Rape Case Undocumented. CNN.
- Online Video. Rep. Jim Jordan: The health bill does not unite Republicans; Mother of student at Rockville HS speaks out over rape case. Fox News.
- Liam Stack. Spicer Says Maryland Rape Case Shows Need for Illegal Immigration Crackdown. The New York Times.